How (and Why) to Be Your Most Authentic Self
There’s a lot of stuff out there. A lot of stuff that tells you that you need to be something that you are not. A lot of stuff that tells you that something is missing from the wholeness that is your body. A lot of stuff that tells you that somewhere in the process of your creation there was a mistake.
Well I’m here to you tell you that all of that stuff is wrong. Flat-out, hands down, 100% wrong. Don’t believe it.
But why should you listen to me?
Because I was there. I was that girl. (Except I didn’t even know it at the time because I was so caught up in trying to be everything for everyone). I was the good girl. The get good grades girl. The nice girl. The always there girl. The yes girl (or the no girl - whichever one you needed me to be girl).
Until one day I just wasn’t.
See what happened was I started to feel like I was drowning. Like I couldn’t breathe. Like I was dying inside.
So I started on a journey to peel back the layers that I had covered myself in all those years ago in my attempts to blend in, to fit in, and to not dare stand out. I started on a journey to just be me.
As I worked to dig deeper and unpeel and unravel, I learned a few things along the way.
These are my thoughts:
Listen to Your Gut (Always). Your intuition. That feeling inside. That thing, that sensation, that knowing to do something you hadn’t originally planned or set out to do. Like pick up a book you’d never read and devour it in one sitting. Like move straight across the country to a new city where no one knows your name. Like sign up for that program that you didn’t think you’d have any real interest in but ends up changing your life.
Know and Choose Your Patterns. You’ve probably heard people talk about stories before. We all have them. They are the things that we repeatedly tell ourselves about who we are, what we can do, and how we can act. These are important! But before you can truly learn your stories, you have to learn your patterns because patterns come from stories. Patterns are the way we respond, the repeated choices we make (hello dating the “same guy” over and over again), and the things we do on autopilot. The trouble is, a lot of our patterns were taught to us (usually by someone who had a lot of importance in our lives (think family or caretakers)) and so they stick around long after they’ve served a purpose. The thing is though, they’re not always in alignment with the truest version of yourself. That means that the more you know about your patterns, the faster you’re able to identify them, and the faster you’re able to choose what goes and what stays so that you only keep the ones that truly make you YOU.
Feel Your Daydream. Go with me on this one. Close your eyes and think about a life that is blissfully yours. And no I’m not talking about laying on a beach in Bali (though maybe that’s your thing), I’m just talking about a real life where you’ve said YES to everything in it. What does that look like? Where are you? What are you doing? How do you spend your time? Now, keep your eyes closed. Place your hands over your chest. What does that FEEL like? What does it feel like in your head? In your heart? In your body? Connect to that sensation.
Make it Your Reality. That feeling that you just felt? That’s YOU. That is your connection to your most authentic self. That is the sensation that lets you know you’re in your truest essence. Over the next couple of days, take a moment to notice the times, the things, and the people where it’s more challenging to connect back to that feeling. Observe these situations and know that you always have a choice about who and what is in your life as evolving sometimes can mean eliminating.
Choose YOU. Now for the fun part. Make it a conscious decision, in fact, make it a downright declaration to always choose YOU. Choose you over and over and over again as frequently as you can. Come back to your intuition, your gut, that vibe you know as often as you can and connect to that FEELING (from #3) more often than not. The more you do it, the easier it gets until you find that you no longer have to make a choice and instead you’re just BEING (the realest version of) YOU.
As you peel away those layers that have covered you for so long, you’ll notice a feeling of freedom emerge that is unlike no other. You’ll notice a sense of confidence that you’ve never fully been able to grasp (even if you’ve felt confident in the past). And you won’t have to wonder what to do or where to go because you’ll feel so settled within yourself. Repeat these steps as often as necessary until you no longer feel like you are doing or saying things for other people; for their thoughts, opinions, or validation. Repeat these steps as often as necessary until you don’t have to wonder who you are anymore because you just know.
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