What's On Your Hard Drive?
This week I’m talking all about programming. What the heck it is .. and more importantly, how you can use it to your advantage.
As I delve deeper and deeper into the coaching certification coursework and modules, I’m having to delve deeper and deeper into my own sh*t (to be completely honest). They tell us that we can only help our clients go as far as we ourselves are willing to go so I want to do the work in the same way that I ask my clients to do the work.
With that being said, let me tell you a story about young Emily. Young Emily believed that she wasn’t worth her weight in gold (or any precious metal for that matter) and only believed that she could be valued, loved, or approved of if she was “the best” at everything. This meant that she spent the better part of her life never being satisfied with anything she did and always feeling like she didn’t deserve what she received (or achieved).
To be completely honest Young Emily’s life sucked (and she believed she deserved it to be that way). She was miserable approximately 98% of the time and when bad things happened to her she would think “yup, figures that would happen” which would put her in a bad mood, she would make poor decisions, and then the whole vicious cycle would repeat over and over .. and over again.
Recipe. For. Disaster.
How did she break free from all of that? How did she become the woman sitting behind this computer screen, typing these words, who is so in love with her work, and so excited for what’s to come that she almost can’t contain herself?
By observing. By taking a genuine good look around. And with an honest realization (and desire to change), honoring the fact that she didn’t like a damn thing about her (old) life and then deciding to do something about it.
That something looked like therapy, coaching, and some real life introspection. It looked like doing things that made her shake in her boots (like teaching her first live yoga class) and doing things she never thought she’d do in a million years (like leave her cushy corporate job to start her own business and make her own money on her own terms). It meant being kind to herself, gentle, but also firm and slightly pushy when the time came.
So this week I encourage you to do the same and without judgement, observe your life as if you were an outsider looking in. Get real honest with yourself about the parts you like (and even more importantly, those that you don’t). Acknowledge where there are discrepancies (things like: you’re a health freak, but your significant other is a smoker and/or drinker and it bothers you to no end) and then decide how you want to take inspired action. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with keeping things the same, but it’s important to know what ingredients you already have on hand before you start creating the recipe of your (future) life.
As I mention in this week’s LIVE video on Facebook, simply observing is the simplest way to start making any changes as it becomes like a puzzle that you put together backwards. Not sure where to start?
Begin by looking at your life as it is right now and then go backwards because our life (our results) came from our decisions and actions which came from our thoughts, and our thoughts came from our beliefs, which came from our values, which came from our identity, which ultimately came from our programming. Simply put :
Programming → Identity → Values → Beliefs → Thoughts → Decisions/Actions → Results (current life situation)
If you want to know your beliefs, look at what is actually happening in front of you (not what you want to be happening) and if you don’t like something about your life now, trace it back to your beliefs and values about the situation. For example, if you want to live a life of freedom where you are actively living out your life’s true purpose and creating impact on a daily basis but instead you’re stuck behind a desk where you watch the clock move backwards everyday, you can start to dig into your beliefs about freedom. Maybe you believe you can’t make money doing something you love. Maybe you believe you don’t deserve to be rich (especially doing something you love). Maybe you believe that traveling is for hippies and wanderlusters who don’t care about their lives (even though you secretly desire to get on a plane and never look back).
Be gentle with yourself as you do this and remember that you likely didn’t choose your beliefs (even though they’re greatly affecting your day to day decisions (which is affecting your overall life)). Begin to pick them apart like you might take apart a necklace that’s all tangled up at the bottom of a jewelry box and know that once you know where and how your beliefs were shaped, then you automatically create the opportunity to change your current reality (should you choose to do so).
If you want help figuring out what your current beliefs are, I’d love to lend a hand! Shoot me a line at email@example.com and let me know what your current “tangle” is and what you’d prefer it to be instead. Can’t wait to hear from you.