How to Cut the Crap and Get Out of Your Own Way
I fired three people today.
Yup, after the first one was out the door I knew the other two had to go as well.
They’d worked for me for as long as I could remember because I used to be ok with living an ok life. In fact, I was actually more comfortable there.
I liked to try. I was always a hard worker. And I loved having a challenge to tackle.
But actually put myself out there? Be recognized for all of my efforts? Never. It felt impossible. Unimaginable really. What will people think? What will they say? It got to a point where I couldn’t even recognize them as individual thoughts any longer, it was just an overall affect, a persona if you will, that I had adopted about myself that made me believe I wasn’t worthy.
And that’s when I knew I had to take action.
I took a deep breath (and then another one - this was huge for me) and then bit the bullet. Out the door they went. I said goodbye to fear, perfectionism, and doubt forever.
Once it was over? I breathed a huge sigh of relief. It was done. I was free.
But now what?
See part of the reason why we hang on to fear, doubt, procrastination, judgment, perfectionism, etc., etc., etc is because we know deep down that if we got rid of them (those very things that we think are holding us back) then we’d actually have to do the thing that we want to do but convince ourselves it’s not that important or that someone else is doing better.
But ya want to know the real thing that’s holding you back?
And I say that in the kindest and most loving way possible (because it’s true) but also because I’ve been there and I’ve seen clients go there as well.
So how do you get out of your own way? Let’s chat about that.
1. Write down what is holding you back. Get really specific.
Ex: I can’t book any clients because no one wants what I’m offering.
2. Mope about it about. Yup, go for it. BUT only for one minute exactly - set a timer if you have to.
Reminder: Things go away easier after they’ve been recognized. If you had a door slammed in your face versus someone telling you “I see you, but I’m unavailable right now,” which would you be more likely to respect?
3. Ask yourself if believing this thought is bringing you closer to your goals or further away from them.
4. Write down the opposite of #1.
Ex: I can book multiple clients because a lot of people want what I’m offering.
5. Ask yourself if believing #1 or #4 is bringing you closer to your goals?
6. Make a decision. (Choose #1 or #4.)
7. (*Hint! Here’s where the magic happens) Go full force in to whatever you decide. If you choose #1 then choose it! Wallow in it. Tell yourself all the reasons why you can’t do this and can’t do that. Be the best non-action-taker out there. But if you choose #4 then you better commit with the same authenticity and determination of #1.
I know this can be the most challenging step. Because holding on to old patterns, beliefs, and stories is comfortable. Easy really. They keep us safe. They keep us small. But most importantly they keep us limited and repeating the same stories over and over again so we never have to step up and make any progress.
In order to move past those very fears you need to identify them and then CHOOSE to think (and feel) a different way. Fire all the tendencies, behaviors, or thoughts that make you believe that you’re not worthy. That what you’re doing is not important. That no one would ever pay you for that. That there’s a million other people doing it already.
Because the thing is, none of that matters.
When you make the decision to step into what you know you were put here to do,
you will find a way or carve a path of your own.
I’d love to know in the comments below if you’re working towards carving your own path now?!