All in Motivation
What does it mean to you to live your purpose? Do you have a purpose?
I’ll be totally honest when I say that for YEARS (ok more realistically, the first ⅘ of my life (I’m 32 right now)) I had no freaking clue.
But shit was happening. And it was happening fast. And your little toddler brain was trying to make sense of it all. And in doing so, it started forming beliefs, stories if you will, about what was true and not true about life. Because when you did that, the world was easier to manage and navigate. So it kept forming stories and beliefs based on things that happened (and sometimes more importantly, things that didn’t happen) to you and the people around you ...
I tried staying positive. I tried tweaking and then taking more action. I tried all my usuals, telling myself everything was right on time, visualizing the end result .. all of it.
But nothing was working .. and nothing was happening.
I was getting frustrated. Beginning to feel like a failure (I was for sure catastrophizing but stick with me for a moment) ...
As I delve deeper and deeper into the coaching certification coursework and modules, I’m having to delve deeper and deeper into my own sh*t (to be completely honest). They tell us that we can only help our clients go as far as we ourselves are willing to go so I want to do the work in the same way that I ask my clients to do the work.
With that being said, let me tell you a story about young Emily...
What would it look like to create a bigger more abundant life instead of staying small to fit inside the one that is seemingly right in front of you?
But there’s more (there’s always more right?). What if we didn’t even know how often we were choosing necessity instead of desire? What if our previous experiences and interactions had left a blueprint on our brains that made it feel like we NEEDED to choose to live in the less expensive area instead of believing that we could make more money or change our situation around so that we could afford to live where we DESIRED to?
At first it was mildly terrifying to realize that the car was driving along the road even though both my feet were firmly planted on the floor under the driver’s side seat, but as I got more and more comfortable with the moving car beneath my buns, I really began to enjoy it.
I mean what’s not to enjoy? You still get to make progress towards your destination but only with about a tenth of the effort it required before. It almost makes it feel like you’re flying (or at least gently skimming) across the top of the pavement ...
I’m a doer. A go-getter. I like to be moving. Creating. Designing. When I was younger I used to take yoga classes where I would quietly sneak off right before savasana (which is the quiet, laying down portion at the very end). Even when I would watch movies, I’d have to have my laptop going and my phone inhand.
...but he believed that killing yourself for your accomplishments was the only path to success and if you hadn’t fought a dozen devils to get to your pot of gold, well then you didn’t deserve it anyways.
I can remember the feeling that used to spread across my chest when he would say that. It felt like my ribcage was shrinking and trying to bring all of my other bones with it.
Needless to say, I spent years trying to be the fastest, the quickest, the smartest. I spent years trying to be on top but not look like I was trying too hard. I spent years trying to be someone who I’m not.
And for the longest time I couldn’t stand the fact that I wasn’t that person ...