INTEGROUS FITNESS

MOVEMENT | TRAINING | WELLNESS

Filtering by Category: Perfectionism

Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost : Part V

Recently I traveled from Scottsdale, AZ to Boston, MA.  The trip took me approximately 6 days and I covered roughly 2600 miles.  As I was driving I realized there were quite a few similarities between various life lessons about confidence and my experience making the trek across the country.

This move meant so much more to me than just changing my geographical location and heading back to my hometown because in so many ways I also felt it was an expression of my own coming home to myself.  I decided to make significant changes in my business in addition to the significant change in my latitude and longitude and I honestly couldn’t be happier.

I decided to compile my thoughts in a five part blog series entitled Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost : Life Lessons on Confidence (from a cross-country road trip).  

This is Part V: 

8. It’s Hard to Take Risks When You Don’t Feel Safe

Day 1 of my journey consisted of Arizona and New Mexico.   If you’ve been, you know -- there ain’t a whole lot there.  In fact, there is so much nothingness that I lost cell service for more than two consecutive hours.  Nothing, nada, not one lone little bar popped up; just a seemingly permanent “No Service” sign on my screen.  

To say I was scared would have been an understatement.  The first moments were amusing but by the bottom half of two hours, I was genuinely frightened.  My thoughts turned from adventure seeking to thinking about sleeping in my car for the night and if desert animals would eat a 33 year old female and her precious pup?  I felt like I was using gas faster than normal (I wasn’t really but a frightened mind exaggerates things) and began somewhat frantically searching for a gas station.

Eventually though, I got through the desert, service was returned to my phone, and I found a gas station.  Fast forward to Day 2 and realized I was getting low on gas.  “I’ll be fine” I thought.  “I can fill up once I get to the hotel”.  As soon I had that thought I realized something. 

It’s hard to take risks when you don’t feel safe and taking risks is a huge part of building confidence because we have to show ourselves that we’re capable of doing the thing(s) we think we cannot do (but really really want to).

Almost 100% of my trek across New Mexico was fear ridden and when we’re frightened, we automatically go on high alert.  Our natural instincts kick in to try and protect us and with that we amplify everything so that we’re fully prepared.  By the time I got to Oklahoma though and had full cell service, I was back to feeling adventurous and excited.  

So my question is, where could you give yourself more support with the intention of creating a safety net of sorts from which to leap?  Remember, we can take beneficial healthy risks when we feel safe to do so, so if the net is there you’re more likely to do even just a little bit of the thing you want to do but are just too scared to do (yet).     

8. feel safe.jpg

9. Full Expression of Emotions Means Confidence in Every Situation

There were times during the trip that I was not comfortable, that I got hungry but didn’t have food with me, or had to pee but the next rest stop wasn’t for 109 miles.  Those times were not fun.  Did I complain?  Hell yea!  Did I get annoyed at myself that I should’ve just stopped at the last rest stop?  100%! 

But did I let myself stay there?  Not a chance in hell.  

Why?  Because if I had then the entire trip would’ve been ruined.  I was in a car for (almost) 7 days straight.  If I had stayed in that frustrated space (or snowballed into something worse) I never would have made it.  

The same is true with confidence.  Of course there are moments where you feel more afraid or unsure than you’d like.   

Is it ok to go to that space?  I believe absolutely.  If we don’t express our emotions then we lose confidence in who we are as humans and our ability to communicate emotion in a productive way.  We need to be able to express ourselves fully and that means acknowledging the negative, doubtful emotions.  

But only enough to express your thoughts and feelings and expel that excess energy.  And then you need to move on.  I say this coming from the space of someone who used to regularly dwell on negative emotion.  I would brew and stew and ruminate until the next negative feeling came along and then I would add it onto the first thing and snowball it into one giant sob fest.

It wasn’t until I realized that staying with the negative, doubtful emotion for too long was the problem.  By believing that I either had to be 100% happy (or 100% miserable) I was preventing myself from experiencing a full range of feelings which made me feel like I was about to burst at the seams and in turn made me significantly less confident about my abilities to handle myself in different situations.   

Could you use a moment to vent?  Me too.  Set a timer for three minutes with the intention that you’re going to write or talk your heart out but then move on with your day.  When the timer goes off, take a moment to reflect on how you feel then acknowledge that those thoughts and feelings don’t define you and use that awareness to step forward into a space that benefits you instead of drains you.   

Are you afraid if you go to that dark space you won't be able to get out?  I totally used to feel the same way but there are tricks to use to help pull yourself out and teach yourself that that's not where you want to stay.  Book a complimentary call to find out how HERE.  Can't wait to chat. 

9. full expression.jpg

Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost : Part IV

Recently I traveled from Scottsdale, AZ to Boston, MA.  The trip took me approximately 6 days and I covered roughly 2600 miles.  As I was driving I realized there were quite a few similarities between various life lessons about confidence and my experience making the trek across the country.

This move meant so much more to me than just changing my geographical location and heading back to my hometown because in so many ways I also felt it was an expression of my own coming home to myself.  I decided to make significant changes in my business in addition to the significant change in my latitude and longitude and I honestly couldn’t be happier.

I decided to compile my thoughts in a five part blog series entitled Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost : Life Lessons on Confidence (from a cross-country road trip).  

This is Part IV:

7. mindset is.jpg

7.  If Consistency is King, Then Mindset is Queen

On Day One I went from Scottsdale, AZ to Albuquerque, New Mexico.  It took me about 7 hours.  When I arrived, I was tired but as I was sitting there relaxing and catch up on work I just kept thinking “but I could be driving”.  

Needless to say, on Day Two I decided to go from  Albuquerque, New Mexico to Tulsa, OK.  It was a nine hours drive and by hour six, I was done.  After what felt like my 100th pitstop (to try and break up the drive and let the pup move her legs a bit) I did not want to get back in that car.  

Want to know why I did?  Because of my mindset.  As I was driving and anytime I would start to wonder how long the trip was going to take, I reminded myself that this move was something I really wanted to do.  I told myself that if I was leisurely lounging at the hotel I’d be thinking about driving.  When I started to get even more restless I would tell myself (outloud) what a good job I was doing, how much progress I was making, and how excited I was to make the move.     

It worked.  I arrived on time, and while tired, I felt good, and was proud of getting that far. More importantly, I wasn’t completely dreading getting back in the car for Day Three which meant I could continue my adventure without skipping a beat.   

Mindset (and self-talk) is everything.  

Building confidence (overall or for a specific event) is no different.  Our bodies and minds believe what we tell them which means that at any moment you have the choice to believe something different.  What would it look like if you believed with every fiber of your being that you could do the thing you’re feel afraid to do?    

Not sure how to create positive self-talk on your own?  It can feel challenging at first but so delicious once you know the formula.  Book a call HERE to create your own unique game plan so you can develop a mindset that allows you to handle that fear and anxiety and do the things that scare you (but you secretly want to do so badly)!  Can't wait to chat with you.   
  
 

Information Does Not Equal Transformation

Information does not equal transformation.  

Lemme say that again, information does not equal transformation.  

I didn’t want this to be true for SO many years.  I thought that if I just learned a little bit more, researched something extra, or found a new source that I’d be finally be able to do/have/be “it” (whatever I was attempting to get after) ...

Read More

Why I Care About Beliefs and You Should Too

But shit was happening.  And it was happening fast.  And your little toddler brain was trying to make sense of it all.  And in doing so, it started forming beliefs, stories if you will, about what was true and not true about life.  Because when you did that, the world was easier to manage and navigate.  So it kept forming stories and beliefs based on things that happened (and sometimes more importantly, things that didn’t happen) to you and the people around you ...
 

Read More